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How "Raising Kids" Can Help You Raise Great KidsBy: Kathleen Karns
If ever practical and effective parenting strategies were needed it is in today’s culture where, some parents have frankly “dropped the ball” as far as addressing the out-of-control behaviors of their children. They, themselves, may be the offspring of similar parents who just lacked the time, skills or both in order to adequately communicate to their children vital social skills and provide solid moral bearings in a world in fluctuation. But despite this harsh truth, many parents are calling out for help and searching for tools to aid them in their crusade to bring up healthy, well adjusted children who are adequately equipped to deal with the world at large. Enter unassuming mother of five Martha Stevens and her short but insightful book titled “Raise Your Kids Right The First Time Around…” which seeks to offer up a new way to raise children, a new approach that deals with the root of many of the reasons children misbehave. Stevens’ book bandies some clear and sober words about the ways to get the kind of behavior that you can be proud of in your children. How exactly is this amazing method achieving such monumental results? She brings clarity and renewed meaning to the primary role of parents, showing that parents hold a great trust. Unlike schools and other educational institutions that deal with the preparation of the mind for life by teaching reading, writing, mathematics, science and history, the role of parents is even more important because they are responsible for educating the hearts of their children. What is meant by the heart? Here we are shown the crucial role of parents as teachers of responsibility, honesty, integrity, unselfishness, and social graces--the primary shapers of morality in society. How does this education take place? Another point expressed by Stevens’ is one that is instrumental in successfully implementing her strategies. It is this: much of the bad or inappropriate behaviors found in children are due to ignorance. Certainly, we can find nothing new about this statement, but it is still surprising how many parents treat occasions when the child does something wrong, they begin by saying that they should know better or resort to strong scolding or outright punishments. In truth, it may be that the child in fact does not know this behavior is bad at all because serious attempts to teach the child these sorts of principles never happened. This can be a very damaging assumption. A very important element to making this process work is developing the idea of the parent as a teacher further. Stevens does this by explaining a child’s need for boundaries and structure. Schedules rule all our lives and children are not excluded. To teach the life lessons that will make all of the difference in how you child acts and why, you need to have a time to teach. You will need a class time. This creates a solid place where children can learn. Different tools for teaching are explained and demonstrated by examples. Parents are equipped to deal with the frustrations caused by the learning process. The accidents, the rebellions, and the forgetfulness, all of which accompany a child’s development, are to be met with patience and care. Resorting to anger and hostile attitudes will shut down the learning process. An important fact is brought to light by Stevens; it is the role of work and how teaching children a proper perspective regarding work can save years of trouble and frustration. It is underdeveloped point in raising children sometimes, as many parents find themselves too impatient to teach their child the value of working to get what they want and knowing that working to achieve goals is more satisfying and brings more joy than just getting it for free and with little or no effort. In our day, this lesson could really stand a good shout from the roof tops. This discussion of work and a proper attitude actually dominate much of the book’s content as Stevens’ labors to deal with several aspects of our attitudes about work and how we can really change our own as parents as well as have the confidence to pass on a brighter outlook about employment to our children. The untold hours of frustration and resentment that can be avoided when we approach work with a willing attitude bears a strong testimony to what this can do for the self-esteem of children who look forward to joining the workforce one day. All in all, Martha Stevens has a powerhouse of a parenting toolbox locked in the pages of her unimposing little volume.
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